College isn't a Bubble
I didn't schedule an existential crisis for this Sunday night, and I also didn't plan out this blog post. But if my Thermodynamics homework can wait while I question the point of finishing it, in the grand scheme of things, then it can wait while I write this, too.
I'm still asking myself why I'm majoring in engineering. I still don't have a good answer. There are other majors I could enjoy just as much, if not more. But I like engineering - I enjoy the questions and looking at the world differently; learning more about how things work, and why they are the way they are. The homework, though, has me ripping my hair out lately. Let's just say I haven't fully adjusted to my classes yet. I'm still figuring it out.
It's hard to reconcile doing something that I like the idea of with the many days I dread doing what it actually entails. But doing engineering's not masochism - I would have the same issues in any major. I don't know how to manage my time; my productivity and motivation come in bursts. But that's not a good explanation of why I decided to put off homework today and revel in the angst of Teen Wolf*. I have no answers. Only the hope that I'll be able to keep up this week.
After such a strenuous day, I'm rolling my eyes at myself. I know. People say college is a bubble, and at times it can be. Undergrads can sleep past noon (yet I somehow can't make it past 9) and shirk responsibility without immediate consequences. But college definitely isn't a bubble. I'm learning every day how to better listen to myself and accept my mistakes. It's a work in progress. We go to college to learn in classes, sure, but there's a lot to learn outside of class, too.
So college isn't a shelter against the "real world." I find myself thinking about life after school a lot - especially how I'll figure out what to do when my months are no longer laid out in course syllabuses and major requirements. Probably the same way I tend to do things now - one step at a time.
Keep calm, DFTBA**, and trust the process.
* - Teen Wolf is a TV show about a teenager who becomes a werewolf. I'm just eagerly awaiting Halloween, okay?
** - Don't Forget to Be Awesome