Things People Don’t Tell You About Moving Out of Southern California
I thought today would be a nice day to write about this…considering it’s 12 DEGREES OUTSIDE. Polar Arctic weather. Apocalyptic if you ask me.
With that in mind, 5 things to know for all you SoCal-ers thinking about going to school in the Great Northeast.
1. It’s cold.
Yeah, real naïve Evan. But I will tell you what. I didn’t even know what the word cold meant until I got here. Back at home I would grab my down jacket (I did not own a down jacket until a few days ago), a scarf (nobody cool wears scarves), and ski gloves (because I have them) if it was anything below, let’s say, 60 degrees? I never bothered to gleam at what the word cold meant. A weeklong ski vacation? When there are clouds in the sky? When it is anything but perfect beach weather? Yeah should’ve taken the classic “OMG like it’s so cold outside right now, I’m like gonna die” with a grain of salt. It does not get "cold" in Southern California.
2. Winter lasts forever.
Forget anything you ever believed about winter being the festive time of the year with Christmas, New Year’s, Hanukkah, decorations, lights, dradles, presents- no. Winter is not just December. December actually is not even the worst part of it. Winter, apparently, is November, December, January, February, March, April, and sometimes May likes to give us the finger and polish off the end of winter with a dose. Cruel, cruel world.
3. There is a Dunkin’ Donuts in virtually every spot there should be a Starbucks.
Dunkin’ Donuts? I didn’t even know people went there. I always just assumed it was the fast food version of coffee that nobody drank. Well I was presently surprised when I came to Boston to find that people fiend over their Dunkachinos and Boston Crèmes and Pumpkin Iced Coffee with too much ice, too much cream, too much sugar, and a splash of coffee. Not to mention, I have to order coffee in small, medium, and large? Tall, grande, and venti is the only way to go. Where’s my grande White Chocolate Mocha, skim, no brevé, hold the whipped cream, when I need it.
4. Snow boots are essential.
Disclaimer: it is possible to get through the winter on a pair of classic Vans. I have done it and survived, and honestly, I deserve a medal. But winter does not just mean coldness and snow. Add some wind, then some sun, then some more wind, then some rain, then some sun, then another blizzard, and you’ve got yourself what I like to call a slush icey. No, not a fun, colorful icey like us beachgoers like to grab after a day shreddin’ gnar gnar and lounging in the toasty shakalaka. What I’m talking about is a layer of slushy, wet brown crap over a layer of black ice, which makes for some funny wipeouts on the weekend (if you wear nothing but Vans, like me). Boots are the only means of combating the villain that is winter.
5. Layers are a thing.
Layers brah? You mean like a flannel over a white Billabong T? Today I wore a T-shirt, then a waffle shirt (so not cool until you freeze your ass off for the first time, then they are straight G), then a real flannel, then a sweatshirt, and finally a Northface winter jacket. Whoever started “the” Northface is a Saint, a true blessing of God the Almighty. I would not be alive today, writing this blog, if it weren’t for the Northface dude. Or chick. But honestly though, layer up, cause if you don’t you die and that sucks because everyone else will be too cold to deal with you outside of the dining hall.
Storm's coming in tonight. That kid outside the dining hall might be me tomorrow.