Tufts Blogs

The college move-in process was, to say the least, an experience that defied any preparation I could have possibly undertaken. I was already miserable from the car ride from my home in Connecticut that consisted of my mom's indecent complaints about my dad’s driving. Little did I know I would soon learn that my dorm was on the fourth floor of a building that lacked an elevator and that I would have to lug all of my bags (with my two divorced parents) to a room without air conditioning. But then, after lugging the majority of my bags to my room for hours and certainly feeling the weight of the day bearing down on me, a ray of hope emerged in the form of a tired-looking girl heading to brush her teeth in the late afternoon. Despite my exhaustion and what I can only imagine was an irritated expression, she offered a smile and a sense of camaraderie. Maryem became my first friend and reminded me of home. We had the same sense of humor and clicked right away. 

Maryem introduced me to Sofia, her roommate, who has since proved to be unlike anyone I had ever met before. Sofia possessed a wealth of knowledge about a myriad of subjects, yet her intelligence lay in conveying this information in a manner that never made me feel inadequate or unintelligent. I now call Sofia my roommate, a source of invaluable advice, and a reliable shoulder I frequently lean on. The three of us ate almost every meal together and spent our days hanging out, often gathering in the common room on the fourth floor of Tilton. My dad still insists that the three of us could pass as sisters. 

Then along came Elias, whom I first chatted with when he got locked out of his dorm. Elias has a remarkable talent for inducing laughter; even the sound of his contagious laugh has a way of eliciting laughter from me. His presence just has that vibrant energy that makes everything feel like it will all work out. Soon, Sofia introduced Maryem and me to Martynas, who honestly, I didn’t become too close with until this year. But now he’s my go-to when I need to rant or share a meme. We have this running joke that about us being destined for marriage in the future, a notion I'm not entirely opposed to considering anyone fortunate enough to call Martynas a friend knows he genuinely wants what's best for you, and he’ll cheer you on along the way. Everyone who knows him knows he is going to do great things in the future, and honestly, I’m excited to see where he goes. 

Bijin also resided on the fourth floor, and our encounter unfolded in the common room. Initially, I knew Bijin as the incredibly talented dancer and as a popular figure on campus, but as our acquaintance blossomed, I discovered a side of him characterized by reliability, confidence, honesty, and generosity. Bijin possesses a unique ability to alleviate any awkwardness in a situation and definitely deserves an award for being the ultimate hype person, constantly uplifting others. He has has undeniably contributed to my growing confidence and self-assurance. 

Maya, too, resided on the fourth floor, and from our first interaction, it became evident that she is probably the most radiant and kind-hearted person I've ever met. Maya's constant smile lights up any room, and her kindness knows no bounds. I've found in her a confidante, someone I can share anything with without fear of judgment. Maya's understanding nature is unparalleled, and being the only person I know who can keep a plant alive has got to serve as a metaphor for her genuine and caring personality. Last but certainly not least, Lucy, who resided on the fourth floor just across the hall from me, came into focus. Initially, I didn't know much about Lucy, but as time passed, I discovered her as unapologetically herself in the best possible way - remarkably intelligent, and fiercely loyal. Witnessing Lucy's transformation over the semester has been remarkable; she has evolved from someone shy and reserved into someone who exudes confidence and clarity about what she wants, and I couldn't be prouder. Lucy is the kind of person you definitely want in your corner, her sarcasm and takes on life serve as some of the best sources of joy. 

Evan and Roddy were the exceptions, not residing on the fourth floor of Tilton like the rest of us. They became part of our suite roster through their connection with Bijin, as we needed two more people. I knew very little about them then, except for the fact that they were best friends and seemed like nice people who wouldn't be exceptionally terrible suite-mates. Now, they have become my friends by choice, not just because we share living space. Roddy is sweet and helpful. Whether it's assisting with my daily crosswords or providing support with writing, Roddy has proven to be kind and always ready to lend a helping hand. There's a comfort in his presence that is hard to articulate but undeniable. I don’t know how to explain it, but Roddy possesses a certain warmth that makes it evident he would be great with kids and dogs, a quality that stands as one of the highest forms of compliment anyone can receive in my opinion. His genuine and caring demeanor makes him not just a great suite-mate but a wonderful friend. Now, onto Evan (and Evan, if you're reading this, I'm exaggerating). The first time I spoke at an event, which was at the Indigenous’ Peoples Day event on campus, Evan was there in the crowd, somehow making the experience seem less intimidating. Evan is undeniably a leader and as much as I enjoy making fun of him, I can't deny how proud I am of everything he's accomplished. Evan's intelligence shines through in our conversations, and I find myself learning a lot from him. His authenticity has been a catalyst for pushing me out of my comfort zone as we've grown closer. Plus, I hate to admit, he's got a pretty good sense of style. 

The purpose of this blog isn't just to showcase my incredible friends (although maybe it's a little bit of that), but to challenge any internalized notions of inescapable imposter syndrome. I became acquainted with this concept when I began sharing my sentiments with my therapist. Imposter syndrome, as she explained, essentially stems from feeling out of place. For a considerable time last year, that's exactly how I felt. I perceived everyone around me as being more intelligent, better at expressing their thoughts, having richer experiences, living more fully, and just being better, more holistic than I believed I was. But then the realization dawned on me that I simply hadn't found my people. The individuals I share my living space with, my best friends, my people, have taught me that the company you keep significantly influences how you perceive yourself. Despite our diverse backgrounds, distinct styles, and involvement in various clubs, we each excel in different areas. Yet, the characteristics I've observed in each of them are what truly matter and have made a profound impact on my sense of self. It goes to show that the right people can transform your self-perception in beautiful ways. 

This is my family. These are the individuals with whom I share every aspect of my life. They genuinely want the best for me, and my greatest desire is to see them succeed. I can't imagine spending the rest of my college experience with anyone else. When I experience moments of feeling out of place or grappling with imposter syndrome, they, often without even realizing it, reassure me that you can find a sense of home wherever you go. With them by my side, I am reminded that home is not just a place, but a feeling of comfort, acceptance, and belonging that I carry with me wherever I go. With that said, the prospect of all of us living in different places with different people next year makes me a bit nervous. However, I hold onto the assurance that we will keep in touch. The bond we've cultivated goes beyond physical proximity, and I am confident that distance won't diminish the connections we've built, and while the next chapter may bring new locations and faces, the ties we've forged will endure, reminding me that friendships can withstand the test of time and distance. 

If you find your people, you will be okay and it will all work out. And who knows, if you happen to be placed on the fourth floor of Tilton your freshman year, maybe, just maybe, you'll end up living with half of your floor. Sometimes, life just works out like that.