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Supplements Revisited: Jheanelle Owens '21

Dec 19
Sean Ashburn Inside Admissions

For this series, we asked three admissions officers to revisit the supplemental essays of three current Tufts freshmen. What in these essays worked, and what could have been done better? We hope this look inside our reading process will help you as you write your own supplemental essays! 

1. Why Tufts?

When doing my college search earlier this year, I watched videos online in order to become familiar with the institutions. One thing that struck me about Tufts was several of the admissions videos were made by students. No other school had that. Tufts' students appear to take initiative outside of the classroom, and Tufts itself seems to place trust in the students. Coming from a high school where the sixth formers are largely involved in planning school events, I admire this. There is a difference between academic responsibility and having responsibilities in school. At Tufts, I see myself having both.

 

Sean: One of the strengths of all three of Jheanelle’s supplemental essays is that she writes with an honest, authentic voice. There is no pretension in her tone; she’s writing in the relaxed, earnest way I imagine she communicates with the actual people around her. I especially appreciate how in her “Why Tufts?” Jheanelle picks a single specific detail about the University and articulates how she sees that trait as illustrating of the larger vibe of the Tufts experience. Rather than a giant list of everything she found during her college research, we hear about the one thing that struck her and we learn what she is looking for most in a college: a place where students can have a meaningful impact on their campus community. Through her essay, I understand that she is a student who values leadership and initiative, and that helps me see her as a good fit for our engaged, active student body who wants to make a difference. I would have loved to have heard a bit more about other student-led projects on the Tufts campus that excite her, but on the other hand, she’s now producing communications and media content through our Admissions Office, so it makes a lot of sense that those student-produced admissions videos are what caught her eye!

 

2. Describe the environment in which you were raised.

Both my mother and father grew up in poor, volatile communities. My mother, the first of seven children, did an outstanding job at getting herself removed from that situation. She fought to get her education in high school, struggled to get into college, and worked her way up to a steady employment. I remember going with her to school when she attended the University of the West Indies. I would sit beside her in lectures and take "notes" from the board. I did not realise then the importance of what she was doing, nor the strength it took.

So instead of living in a volatile community, I live in a quiet community on the outskirts of a volatile town. We can rely on hearing the firing of guns on a Friday night. Luckily it has never been close enough to pose a real threat. I like my community, even though nothing much happens here. It is a good break from school where there are so many activities going on at once. Here, I get to spend time with my parents and my brother, depending on if they have the energy to deal with me. My brother is 12 years older than me, so technically I am the only child of the house. As a result, I often have to drag them to do fun things like watching a documentary or panel discussion with me. Even though they resist, I know they secretly love it.

 

Sean: Jheanelle’s second essay does a nice job helping me imagine life in her shoes. She gives the reader a sense of the community where she lives (that’s one of the goals of this prompt) and we gain some insight into what she does and does not appreciate about it. Additionally, Jheanelle’s intellectual curiosity comes through in her description of her childhood enthusiasm for her mother’s college classes and in her eagerness to take advantage of opportunities for learning (like panels and documentaries). The playful bits in her second paragraph give us a peek at her energetic and precocious personality, helping me see her as a fit for the relaxed intellectual community at Tufts. 

However, I do think Jheanelle could have gone a little deeper in this essay. For example, the first half of the essay focuses on what Jheanelle’s mother has achieved, and while her mother’s accomplishments likely inspire her, Jheanelle doesn’t help me see what type of person her mom’s inspiration has created. I’m left wondering what characteristics Jheanelle possesses as a result of the strength she sees in her mother. Given her mother’s tenacity, who does Jheanelle aspire to be in the future? Has growing up in a quieter, less volatile community shaped her values or beliefs in specific ways, compared to those of her parents? Addressing questions like these – by showing, not necessarily telling – would have left me with a fuller picture of the perspective Jheanelle would bring to the Tufts campus.


3. Prompt selection B. It's cool to be smart. Tell us about the subjects or ideas that excite your intellectual curiosity. 

Mathematics is not easy. Because of this, I knew it was imperative that I acquire the skill of persistence, or “Mathematical Rigor” as my teacher Mr. Bell calls it. I have learned that it is the moments of confusion that make Mathematics so thrilling, as the anticipation of clarity builds. I came to appreciate this fact during my Additional Mathematics and Pure Mathematics courses. These are the most advanced math courses offered to students in the Caribbean. Pure Mathematics especially is notorious for being unreasonably difficult. The exams were indeed gruelling, but I did my best. In fact, I had actually done the best in Jamaica for both, and the third best in the Caribbean. All along, I thought that the point of “Mathematical Rigor” was to get all the answers correct. I now understand that the true accomplishment is to accept that I will not have all the answers, but if I remain persistent and patient, I will achieve great things.

After watching "A Beautiful Mind", I had a craving to make some mathematical discovery. An aspect of math that I would love to demystify is the workings of infinity and zero. What on earth happens when you divide by zero? Since horizontal and vertical lines are perpendicular, is the negative multiplicative inverse of zero equal to infinity? Perhaps in college, I will learn more about these "numbers". Maybe I will even be part of the team that completely demystifies infinity and zero! How cool would that be.

 

Sean: What I like best about this essay is Jheanelle’s clear excitement about problem solving and persistence in her studies of math. She is motivated by her intellectual curiosity and the possibility of discovering new mathematical concepts (through collaborating with a team!) that would significantly change the discipline. Her expectations of the rigor of math courses are super realistic and finding clarity in complexity is what she likes best – after all, she starts off with, “Mathematics is not easy.” Her genuine enthusiasm reassures me that when her Tufts Engineering classes get tough, she will take pleasure in the challenge and have the grit to stick it out. In terms of style, I appreciate that this third essay answers the prompt through stories. Jheanelle takes us on a narrative journey to show how her perspective and beliefs about math have evolved through specific experiences, rather than just a straightforward list of the concepts that appeal to her. I get a sense of how her math teacher, the intense exams, and “A Beautiful Mind” have all played a part in her desire to learn more and understand more deeply.




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