Hour 1: "I have a house now!! My own place, I get to decorate, I have two memory foam toppers and a free bed... I just need to shift everything into place and it'll be great!"
Hour 2: "Hey Matt, I've been trying to set up this desk for half an hour now and I still don't know how it works, do you have the instruction manual? Oh, you don't remember how it works...?"
Hour 3: "Okay, table's not falling over, bed's in place, I just need...to bring everything up...from the basement...two floors down. By myself."
Hour 5: "Why...do I...have so much...stuff???????"
Hour 10: ".............:("
Trying to Decorate
Hour 0: "Okay everything's finally in my room, I just need to put things up and it'll look great! I'll do a nice overhang thing, just need to put up the tape, and...what's this about flat paint and not being recommended?"
Hour 1: "Okay, soooo...if I paste this on flat paint, I could just rip a hole two years from now and lose everyone's security deposit. But it's not flat paint right, like look it's a bit shiny! See Google, just tell me it's not flat paint!"
Hour 5: "It's flat paint and our paint might suck so............no overhang. :("
Pre-wash: "I don't need to put in quarters or anything to do laundry!!! My house is so much better than yours!!!"
Laundry Load 1: "Everything's so nice and clean, and white, and...my white shirt has weird streaks on it...???"
Laundry Load 2: "Okay no one else has had anything happen to their laundry, so it was just that one time, everything's...okay it's just a bit of dust and dirt and hair, all's fine, it happens..."
Laundry Load 3: "Delia I have literal mucus on my laundry, have you not had this happen to your clothes before??? No one else has ever had this??? Wait but I do the same things as you do for laundry????"
Post-Laundry Load 3, Hour 2: "So after shifting towards colour-saving liquid detergents and colder, more environmentally friendly washes...washing machines end up collecting grease and mould which ends up being deposited...only on my clothes. :("
Pre-Meal 1: "No more dining hall meals!! I'm going to cook so well, and be so culinary, every meal's going to be great!!"
Meal 1: "Okay the rice is boiling, I just need...a cover for the pot, which I don't have......???!!!"
Post-Meal 1: "It's okay, everything's fine...besides the fact that I have burnt rice...and over-salted soy sauce fish...but I can do better!!"
Meal 2: "It's been 50 minutes and I have a flight to catch so I don't care anymore you chicken thighs better be cooked once the oil cools down!!!"
Meal 3: "Okay, I've had a whole summer, I can do this.............it's edible!!!!"
Meal 5: "I'm getting so much better at this, like I'm still slow but I know what I can cook, I just need to chop these onions...THE TEARS THEY STING"
Meal 8: "Why did I only buy curry paste and tom yum paste why did I think that was enough I don't want to eat curry or tom yum anymore but the beef is going to spoil why past me whyyyyyyy"
Meal 13: "So if I order delivery and just eat really slowly, this can last me three meals and I don't need to do prep work or cleaning up...? :("
Cleaning the Bathroom
Minute -15: "Okay I have the Japanese foam cleaning sponge thing, I just need to get the gloves and I'm ready to clean the bathroom, and the toilet won't have a weird smell anymore!"
Minute -5: "WHERE ARE THE GLOVES?????"
Minute 0: "Okay it's okay I can do this, it won't be that bad, I'll just wash my hands once this is done...and myself...maybe multiple times???"
Minute 10: "That wasn't so bad, the sink cleaned up pretty easily! I just need to decide...if I want to do the toilet or the shower first...but the toilet needs to have the cleaning liquid in it for a bit...ughhhhh"
Minute 15: "Okay the exterior's done, I will just clean the inside of the rim first and...OH GOD IT SCRUBBED UNDER TOO IT'S BROWN"
Minute 30: "Okay I am not touching the toilet anymore it is done it just needs to soak, let's do the shower now, it can't be that bad!"
Minute 45: "Okay I've scrubbed the flat sides, and...oh the sides are...yellow too...??"
Minute 60: "WHY ARE YOU ALL SO YELLOW I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH SPONGE FOR THIS GET CLEAN"
Minute 75: "I both sorely regret having gone to climb this morning and am immensely grateful that I did not do abs because this is so much scrubbing"
Minute 95: "IT IS DONE. Okay I'm just going to wash my hands real quick so I can go up to grab my towel and take a sho-IT'S ON THE SHOWER SETTING NOT THE FAUCET WHY DID YOU DO THAT BRAIN"
Minute 120: "I've never looked at something and felt so clean and dirty simultaneously. :("
(for real though living off-campus is great, being with friends and having permanent storage space is prime, but chores...not so much.)