Tufts Blogs

I was sleeping over at another college last week, with a friend also from outside the US, when we somehow ended up discussing “whether all this is worth it” – “all this” meaning the struggle of college applications and getting in, followed by the challenges of going to school on your own so far away from home.

(Note: If you're experiencing the opposite dilemma - i.e. you live VERY close to Tufts - I recommend this blog post!)

Before I even thought about it properly, a “definitely!” had slipped its way out of my mouth. I was honestly surprised and puzzled. What compelled me to say that in that instant? After all, it’s been a little more than a month here at Tufts and in the US, and I am only starting to come to terms with the heartache of being separated from home by oceans, laggy Skype calls and expensive flight tickets. 

You see, whenever people ask me where I’m from, and I tell them, “Malaysia”, the typical response is, “Oh my goodness, that is sooo cool!” 

I guess it is kind of cool, to feel as though I’m contributing a tiny bit to the astounding geographical and cultural diversity of Jumbos. It’s kind of cool to know that I was raised in a completely different corner of the world, and hence have a different set of stories to tell. It’s kind of cool that being multilingual and growing up in multicultural Malaysia makes me able to relate, on some small level, with people all the way from China and India, to England, to the Middle East.

But you know what’s not so cool? Being in Medford/Somerville, MA, Malaysia is really, really far – like, on the exact other side of the planet kind of far.

Here’s a Google Maps screenshot for dramatic effect:

So, why, then, did I find myself agreeing so quickly that going to school, somewhere an entire day of flying away, was the best decision I could have made? Later that day, I wandered up onto the Tisch Library rooftop. Soaking in the calm silence of the moment, I thought about all the cool stuff that had happened in the past week, and the astoundingly cooler people I’d met and gotten to know.

Moments that came to mind included:

• Running up to my Education professor after class, with perplexing questions about how to get people to start talking about education in Malaysia. (His bemused reply: “If you’re going to do something about this, Amanda, you’re not going to do it this week!”)
• Listening to the inspiring, strong voices of Middle East activist leaders on campus
• Hanging out in our dance captain’s house, talking about India, food and life
• Biking to Harvard Square (and nearly getting killed several times, thanks to not being used to driving on the American side of the road)
• Being constantly surprised by people who totally break down my initial subconscious assumptions about them, with all their weirdly wonderful interests and stories
• Wrestling with my English paper and getting really confused and exhausted, in the best way possible (I feel inspired to learn all the time!)
• Learning that planning the First Generation Student Council’s ice cream social involved getting gluten-free, vegan, nut-free flavours
• Sending President Monaco a “happy birthday” Facebook message and getting a reply that was signed, “Tony”

As the clouds dipped to black and the Boston skyline flickered its fuzzy lights in the distance, I realized that for the very first time in my life, I don’t feel the urge to be somewhere else. As someone who’s constantly on-the-go, always searching, for once, I am content with being exactly where I am at this chapter of my life.

I guess the question of where “home” really is will always remain for many of us, as the hands of time keep transporting us into different corners of the world … but this time around, I am convinced that getting away from all the familiar stuff that is so dear to me is worth it, because I know this is where I’m meant to me. Because this feels completely right. Because Tufts has quietly revealed itself to be beautiful, inside and out, and I am happy to be able to call this place home.

In this season of exploration, decisions and impending changes, perhaps some of you out there are trying to figure out whether leaving the nest for a new journey a great distance away is the right thing to do. I don’t think I’m much wiser than you, but if I could offer a tiny piece of advice, it would be to go with your gut. If you feel totally convinced that somewhere out there, there is a place that you can definitely call home for the next four years – a community in which you will be trusted to explore but hugged when you fall, challenged to re-examine your beliefs but celebrated for who you are – then go for it. If you feel it's okay to be away from much that is familiar and dear to you, and learn more about yourself in a different setting by being somewhere else -- even if it's just for a slice of your lifetime -- then you know that the courage is somewhere in you.

These are all deeply personal decisions that only you can make for yourself with conviction, but if you hear that resounding “yes” in your heart, go ahead and give it a shot – because more often than not, that road less travelled can make all the difference.