Tufts Blogs

Before coming to college, I was already a bit worried about the social aspect. To give you some context, my high school was a middle and high school and was relatively small. So, I had the same friend group for 7 years. As a result, it had been a very long time since I’d had to make new friends. Naturally, I wondered if I would even be able to make friends while at Tufts or if I would “fit in.” I assumed everyone else would be super confident and outgoing, in contrast to me. But, I should’ve had a bit more grace with myself as confidence develops slowly through experiences and relationships. Looking back, I can see how much each semester helped me grow.

In my freshman fall, everything was very new and intimidating. So, I naturally became more quiet and reserved. I rarely strayed from my comfort zone, and socializing felt very nerve-wracking. So, I spent a lot of time adjusting rather than trying new things. It is completely normal and okay that my first semester felt a bit like a transition period. I needed the time to get accustomed to the new environment. However, the following semester, I started to form closer friendships with some people I met in my dorm hall and some of my fellow Roti N’ Rum team members. To this day, I still consider them to be some of my best friends. When I was with them, I felt safer being myself and showing more of my personality, which was a nice and welcomed change. I opened up more in conversations and had seen a version of myself that I’d thought I’d left behind in high school. These friendships were my turning point, as having supportive people around me helped me slowly come out of my newfound shell.

When sophomore year came around, I became more willing to try new things. I put myself out there more socially and started getting more involved in clubs and campus activities. For example, I joined the Tufts National Society of Black Engineers chapter and gained an interest in finance, so I joined two sub-groups of the Tufts Financial Group. I also began spending more time going to campus events and trying things I hadn’t done before, like joining my now sorority, Kappa Alpha Theta. Naturally, I felt less worried about how others perceived me and more about having a good time. I now had a community and was aware of the fact that college isn’t forever, so I wanted to cherish every moment. I couldn’t have achieved this level of growth if I hadn’t stepped outside my comfort zone and put myself out there. So, to reiterate, I found my confidence in experience, not suddenly becoming outgoing.

Now, in my sophomore spring, I feel more true to myself. I’m comfortable expressing my personality and have met even more amazing people! I’m still growing and learning, but feel much more confident than before. The past year and a half has taught me that growth takes time and that confidence often comes from the people you surround yourself with. Being shy at first does not define your college experience and you don’t need to immediately have everything figured out. College gives you time and space to grow into yourself, so take it.