Tufts Blogs

If you’ve read anything I’ve ever written before, chances are, you know pretty much everything about my family. I’ve written about my grandmother, my mom, my brother, my sister, et cetera, in different mixes and multiple times. But there is no limit to what your family means to you, so here is another post about how my siblings have enhanced my life and learning at college, a place thousands of miles away from both of them. My little brother has just turned 14. He is becoming a sneaky, clever, cheeky little man. Every time I video call him, I see his upper lip growing darker and darker shades of facial hair and it seriously grosses me out. We have always been super close growing up - my hypothesis is that growing up abroad together and having each other be the only constants in a constantly changing environment must have brought us together a lot more than brother-sister relationships usually are.

The thing is: if it wasn’t for him, I probably would not have chosen the major that I did. My main major is child development; I just declared a second major in clinical psychology. I decided to take Intro to Child Development in the spring semester of my freshman year because I wanted to find out more about why my brother was so different from me growing up and how I could help shape him while he was still in his middle childhood years. I cared about that class because I cared about my brother. Everything seemed so fascinating when I could connect it back to my experiences with him, and with my sister, too.

Just last week, I was looking through my syllabus for my Children & Mass Media class when I realized that I had missed a lecture on media portrayals of sex and violence the week that I was out sick. I messaged my friend from that class and asked him to send me his notes on that specific lecture. He replied saying 1) I have no notes because we don’t have exams in that class and 2) we don’t have exams, why do you care?? That was like 5 weeks ago?! When he told me that no one else would ever ask him that in this situation, it hit me how important my relationship with my brother is in formulating my college experience. I only cared about the content of that class because my brother plays a lot of violent video games and watches uncensored content on easy-access YouTube. I had even bought him Black Ops for Christmas, and asking about that class was a way for me to find out if I should feel guilty about it or not.

I also engage in activities that attempt to make college life better and easier for students of future generations, such as writing for admissions and planning on college access workshops. I do work for future generations because one of the most important people in my life is part of that future generation.

On the other side of time, my 23-year-old sister has informed parts of my life at Tufts that have to do with my future. My sister is the most hardworking realist I know. But after she graduated with a art history from SCAD in Georgia, she had a few cool jobs working in the art world before they became too financially un-viable for her to continue with them. Now, she teaches English at an academy in Korea, and although she likes her job, she feels unhappy with the way her work has nothing to do with her degree and ultimate passion. It makes me think: if my sister can’t find a job that pays well and makes her happy, then how can I possibly do it?

As I watched her life unfold and she flitted from job to job, I became more grounded and realistic about my future career prospects. I stopped thinking that I could major in whatever I wanted and the money would follow if I was happy; frankly, that seems a little naive to me now. I supplemented my child development major with a BS in clinical psychology so I could graduate with a BA and a BS, and so my skill set would be more specific and honed when compared to other undergraduates. I did other things to make me more competitive, such as join a research project and attend conferences where I could meet people in my potential future field.

There are a lot of decisions I have made at college because I had had my siblings on my mind at the time. My brother’s hopes and dreams for his future informs my decisions about what kind of world I want to create for him; my sister’s trials and tribulations help me formulate strategies for how I can achieve the future I want for myself. It’s not all fun and games when you’re a middle child, but I sure have learned a lot of lessons along the way.