"But I'm so old!" I complained. "I'm like… damaged goods or something!" On the other end of the phone I could hear my mom sigh. "You're fine, honey. Perfectly fine. Anybody would want to have you around." There are only a few circumstances that would lead a 20 year old junior to feel old, and I'm in one of them. With the status of a second semester junior, I've decided to buck up and go out for sorority recruitment.
Woah. Yeah I know, that changes things up a little bit. Since I signed up about a month ago, I've been wondering what led me to do this, and maybe you are too. I mean, aren't I a little bit old? Don't I already have a group of friends? Well, yeah, I guess so. But when my sister (Hi Camille!) was going to go through the process herself down at Duke University, I thought I should show some sister solidarity, and act on an idea that's been kicking around in my head for a while. So here I am, the afternoon before the first recruitment event, writing a blog post.
Even still, it seems weird to me that I should randomly put myself out there like this. As I said to my mom, I am old for recruitment. I'm not a bright-eyed freshman anymore. I'm hoping that will allow me to minimize and handle stress over the recruitment events, since I have no pressure or expectation of what I want out of this, but we'll see. The girls seems really nice and the environment is welcoming and supportive. More than anything, what makes me hesitate a moment before jumping in is trying to reconcile my perception of myself with that of a sorority girl. I don't think I, or anybody who knows me well, saw me as the type to join a sorority. But maybe I am. As one of my close friends said, how could I ever know unless I give it a shot?
What I've learned in talking to friends about this is that it's never really too late. It's college. I'm here to reinvent myself, even if I join the party two years late. Just because I never saw myself as somebody in the middle of a group of female friends doesn't mean I can't change that around in say… a week or so. Honestly, these recruitment events are going to be a little bit scary and stressful, knowing that other girls are assessing my fit with their group. That can make anybody nervous. I've decided to just go for it with these rules in mind:
1) No expectations. I'm going to meet new people regardless, and if I end up in a sorority, so be it.
2) If I don't like it, I just stop going and I have a good story to tell.
3) If I do like it enough to join, I'll do so while embracing the change.
Wish me luck and whatever happens, letters or not, I'll be back with part 2 soon!