Now that I’ve put a little distance between me and finals (I wrote 50 pages and took a test completely in Classical Sanskrit within 6 days, so I need some space), I came to a realization about my paper-writing style. I wrote three papers: a 10-12 page paper on Islam & Modernity, a 12-15 page paper (which ended up at 16 pages) on Modern Bengal and a 20 page paper on Machiavelli. In all three papers, I watched as my argument fell apart around me.
It happened differently in all three papers. In my Islam paper, I found another source that was proving exactly the same point I was, so I had to find something new to prove. In the Bengal and the Machiavelli paper, my original impressions and predictions from sources ended up being wrong when I gave them a closer reading, so I had to read more widely, find new sources and develop an entirely new argument.
Generally, this was awful. There is nothing worse than deciding, three days before your paper is due, that you need to shift your argument in a new direction. In all three cases, I freaked out a little bit. I calmed myself by indulging in snacks (mostly Cape Cod Salt & Vinegar potato chips, which I have an entirely unhealthy relationship with), then reading as widely as possible. I skimmed the books and articles I already had, and made mad dashes to the library (my friends can attest to this) only to return with more books than I had planned on.
But soon, I figured out a solution. I found an argument I could make with the sources I had, and I pushed my papers beyond my original ideas for what they should be. I learned that, despite the freaking out, this experience made my papers better. I could have pretended I didn’t see sources that contradicted, or completely outstripped, my argument, and I could have fudged together a weak version of my original argument rather than adapting to new information. But I didn’t, and in the end, that turned my papers from “ok” to works I was proud to turn in. So here’s to arguments falling apart, and here’s to salvaging something better from the wreckage.