The Group of Six Series: The LGBTQ+ Center
The LGBT Center is located on the 2nd and 3rd floors of Bolles House on the Medford/Somerville campus. The Center has a peer leadership group that provides…
Hi I’m Aaron, I use he series pronouns, and I’m humbly coming to you today as one of many queer voices at Tufts. If you are out and proud, this is for you. If you are in the closet, this is for you. If you’re just beginning to question your sexual orientation or gender identity, this is for you. This is a blog post I would have wanted to read two years ago when I was visiting colleges.
Before I jump into this blog, I want to make sure all of us are on the same page about the language I’m using here. I am using the word ‘queer’ as an umbrella term for LGBT+ individuals and groups and as a term of personal identification and empowerment. I also acknowledge that I, just like any queer person, cannot represent the experiences of others. I speak from my experiences as a gay, white, cisgender male.
I want you to know that your identities are valid, no matter what anyone tells you. Even if you don’t have a label for them or just don’t feel comfortable with labels, your feelings about yourself are one hundred percent valid. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be you, no matter how other and queer that might be.
At this point in your life, you are probably feeling everything from fear to anger to confusion - and that’s okay. To be honest, I am too. It is, unfortunately, a scary time to be queer. We face discrimination from individuals and major political parties, violence from bigots and homophobes, and misunderstanding from friends and loved ones. We are constantly confronted with a world that views us as deviant and other, where our identities are underrepresented and underserved, and our voices are struggling to be heard.
After the shooting in Orlando, you are probably feeling even more scared. And rightly so. I certainly was and still am. It is profoundly difficult to cope with such a tragedy, one that so directly targeted our community. And I know that carrying that weight and facing that fear is even harder when you’re doing it alone. For some of you, you are the only queer person you know. For many more, the only people in your life who openly discuss their queerness are the YouTubers and bloggers you found searching for “coming out” videos online. I spent many hours of my teenage years watching “It Gets Better” videos, wondering if that was actually true. And while it may feel like there is no one that understands what you’re going through, I am here to tell you: you are not alone.
If you’re anything like I was 2 years ago, you are looking for a college with a queer community to join. You’ve probably read all the lists about the most (and the least) LGBT friendly schools in the country, and maybe this has helped guide some of your decisions and perhaps led you here. I found that most of these lists don’t go beyond the basics of “School X has a wonderful LGBTQ/LGBTQIA/LGBTQ+ center that does so many amazing things (that we won’t list here).” While it’s important to note if a university has a good centers for queer students, the presence of these centers should be a requirement not a perk, and I was ultimately just whelmed by a list of colleges and the associated LGBT center.
Given this limited information, I came into to Tufts with very little idea of what to expect, as many of you might. In my two years at Tufts, I have been nothing short of impressed with the community I’ve found here. Within the first five minutes of pre-orientation, I met more queer people than I had in the preceding 18 years. For once in my life, I didn’t feel like my identity was a political statement. I knew then that college would be incredibly different than high school, where I was one of a small group of out queer students at a school with a highly gendered dress code.
Flash forward to me now. After two years at Tufts surrounded by one of the most positive and uplifting communities I’ve ever been a part of, I’m proud to share my experiences with you. I’ve learned so much about myself and other people. I’ve found an incredible community that’s taught me so much more about myself that I ever could have learned on my own. Is Tufts perfect? No. It still has a long way to go to foster an environment that is affirming of all identities. That being said, the queer community here is incredibly strong and active. I have been uplifted and humbled and accepted by the people here. Two years ago, I would never have imagined feeling empowered enough to write this open letter, but here I am. I have so many people, from close friends, to classmates, to professors, to my boyfriend to thank for being my support network, my greatest cheerleaders, and for teaching me to be proud and humble and strong and unapologetic.
Being queer at Tufts means so many things to me. It means having conversations with my extended family about how the gender binary is a restrictive societal construct. It means walking my boyfriend back to his dorm at night during our first year at Tufts. It means introducing myself with my name and my pronouns. It means not making assumptions about someone’s gender identity based on their expression, name, or interests. It means uplifting and amplifying the voices of those members of the LGBT community who face the most discrimination. It means coming together in times of tragedy. It means celebrating in the streets for Boston Pride.
So now to you. Staring at a screen and wondering if Tufts is a place for you. I want this to serve as the letter that I desperately wanted but never received. Maybe you’re the only out gay person in your high school. Maybe you’re bisexual and still in the closet to everyone except your closest friends. Maybe you’re beginning to question your gender identity and you don’t know if college will be any different than high school. I want to tell you that, though it isn’t perfect, Tufts is a place where you can be part of a queer community that values you and affirms you.
We’re here, we’re queer, and we love you.
If you have any questions or concerns about queer life at Tufts, please feel free to contact me at aaron.watts@tufts.edu or reach out to the LGBT Center.
The LGBT Center is located on the 2nd and 3rd floors of Bolles House on the Medford/Somerville campus. The Center has a peer leadership group that provides…