Today it occurred to me that I have spent two years at Tufts. Two entire years. Two years of laughter, tears, anger, joy, frustration, anxiety, and many more emotions that I really can’t explain. The past two years do not feel like a long time, and yet here we are. It’s insane.
In some ways, I feel more washed-up than any senior could. I was explaining to some of my wilderkids (I was a leader for Tufts Wilderness Orientation) why junior year is so weird; you see, as a freshman, everything is so new and exciting, and there is so much to learn and experience. As a sophomore, you have a better grip on the whole college thing, and you aren’t a freshman anymore, which is cool in and of itself. Seniors are pretty much living the dream as monarchs of the school, finalizing their Tufts bucket lists as they wrap up their college career. But Juniors… we’re smack dab in the middle. 2 years down, 2 to go. Nothing is really new anymore, friend groups have already been established, and at this point everyone has just sort of settled into a routine. Most of us are just starting to delve into the meaty parts of our majors—the requirements, the tough stuff, the classes that aren’t exactly fun. Junior year is weird, to say the least.
Right now in my life, I’ve never felt so in limbo. I feel as though I’m sort of just existing, drifting on autopilot through the same old stuff I’ve always been doing. I remember at the beginning of Sophomore year, I wrote a blog post on here and ended it with the line “here’s to an amazing, over-scheduled, unreasonably exciting sophomore year.” It’s pretty amazing to look back and see how much has changed since then; how much I’ve grown, how much I’ve learned, and what is yet to come.
Perhaps I sound a bit like a Debby Downer, but I’m honestly just curious to see what this year will be like. My co-leader for T.W.O. told me a few weeks ago that this year will be “the year of Soss [my nickname],” but I can’t help wonder exactly what that means. I think I’ll just take it as the year I really evaluate how my college experience has been thus far, and what I want to work on. The number one priority for me right now is to focus on myself and my existence outside of Tufts—because it’s easy to forget that while I am a Tufts student, I’m also a regular adult, living in a house and shopping for groceries and trying to get a job. It’s a strange balance, but I think I’m ready to take it on.