Fa11: We Grew Up
After a semester everyone came to know as my personal “semester from hell,” I can honestly say I’ve never been happier to be home!
Excuse the negativity, but this semester… it was a trying one. Not just for me, but for most people I know. My closest friends and I were all dealing with deep dark things we’d never experienced before: getting over a love, handling a long-distance relationship when a significant other goes abroad, and thinking of the future (scary!). Within that, I feel like this semester, we all awoke to the reality of college. When I mean “the reality of college,” I’m talking about how we all have a hyped idea of what college is, whether we envision a deep intellectual environment or a party overflowing with red solo cups, we have an expectation. Freshman and sophomore year, I feel, we lived those expectations, and this year, we came to see how our ideas of college match up with reality once the shiny newness of college went away.
But beyond that, we realized the necessity of college, the reason we’re here in the first place. Though we may all know it, it didn’t start to get real until now: we’re at Tufts to leave and become productive members of society, which generally means getting a job. For those of us who held internships, we felt stress, worked our butts off, and got a glimpse at our futures. Futures that we know are bright, but that are so different from the dependency on our parents and comfort of our dorms from freshman year. These realities and the fact that each year makes the future feel more like the present hit us all in the face.
Personally, I saw my future and wanted to jump ahead. Throughout this semester, I’ve gained the skills necessary for the work force, made professional connections, interned, and, in the eyes of my friends, turned into a “real person” (as opposed to a college student who does not really lead a “real” life). For a second, I wanted college to be over. But after a talk with my professor, I gained perspective. I’m not ready to graduate. There is something I lack. Something I’ve lost while gaining all the wonderful things mentioned above.
Balance and a certain joie de vivre. I worked so much this semester and dealt with really (not) fun breakup things that kept me home on Friday nights and on friends’ birthdays. At one point I felt like I had nothing but work things to discuss at dinner… And though it was completely self-induced, voluntary, and WORTH IT (I made the dean’s list—academic honors— and walked away with two internships under my belt AND saved up money for abroad), I definitely felt a little too adult-like.
Though I have no regrets since I’m in a pretty darn good place right now, I would prefer for my life to be a little more balance and a little spicier--to find and keep these things before I become a real real person.
Thankfully, I have another adventure coming up :) And no, it’s not 5 classes, a job, and two internships instead of 4 classes, a job, and two internships. In exactly 6 days I will jet off to Spain to get back what I lost. To let Madrid change me however it would like. To find balance, peace, and find another piece of the (real) person I’m meant to be.
Fall 2011, it’s been real. Tufts in Madrid 2012, LEGGO.