Halloween is my favorite holiday for a number of reasons. I love the crisp October air, the gorgeous fall colors, carving pumpkins, dressing up, having an excuse to eat candy, watching scary movies, going to haunted houses… the list goes on and on.
It surprises me when people say they don’t like Halloween. They don’t like dressing up; they don’t like candy; they don’t see the point of intentionally scaring yourself. “It’s silly,” my Halloween-hating friends tell me. “There are so many better things to do.”
But my love for Halloween has run deep I was little. Every year on this day, I get the chance to shake off my identity and all the associations that come with being Anna, and I can be whatever or whoever I want. It’s thrilling and nerve-wracking to change yourself, even just for a night—and maybe that’s precisely why some people hate it so much.
What exactly is identity? Why do some long to change it, and when the opportunity comes, immediately dress up and pretend to be something they’re not? Over the past few years, I’ve spent a lot of time and energy trying to figure out who I am. What defines me? What do I represent? What are the values I stand for? It’s been a long journey and I’ve gone through ups and downs to get to where I am today. Even now, I struggle with casting off labels and establishing myself as a unique individual.
So, for me, dressing up on Halloween is incredibly fun, because it’s a chance to experience life as someone or something else for a night, as silly as that sounds. Even if I’m just dressed up as a cat; for a moment, I feel different than my usual self, and its riveting.
Of course, I know that at the end of the night when the makeup comes off and the costume goes back in the closet, I’ll return to being regular-old-me—and I’m ok with that. I’ve found that no matter who I dress up as, and no matter how fun it may be, I’ll always prefer to be just myself in the end.